As I have written before, I am about to be a big sister to two kids. My cousins, whose mother is unable to care for them anymore due to a drug problem. My parents have been trying for the past five or six months to adopt these kids. My parents with a 31 and 24 year old, who are for the most part done taking care of kids, and waiting on grandkids (sorry mom), are going to be parents again. My frustration does not lie in the fact that my father will not buy me everything I want anymore because he will be broke for caring for these two kids. But the fact that these two kids have suffered relentlessly for the past two years while in foster care due to red tape, and plain old stupidity.
Obviously I blame their mother, but I show pity to her, because I know her home life wasn't the best. Their mother hurt me a long time ago, and I learned to let that go, because her life was miserable from the time she was born, and what happened to me is an insignificant portion of my life, and that misery she inflicted on me, was inflicted on her.
I also blame the current state of the foster care system. These two kids in a span of two years have been in approximately 23 foster homes. Almost once a month, they are moved and placed into another environment. These children have no concept of stability. One of these children will be able to come live with my parents in the next few weeks. Her current foster mother, due to circumstances beyond her control (financial issues) had to give up my cousin. The state knows my parents are trying to adopt her. They will not let her come to live with them just yet. Is it because of a background check? No. Home study and evaluations? No. Because the man who needs to approve their home studies and background checks, and sign for them to be approved is on damn vacation, which means my cousin/little sister is now in her 24th foster home in a span of 24 damn months. Don't let the child come to a home in which you are approving, in which people have jumped through hoops to get these kids. Let's face it, my parents are really sticking their neck out. They are facing retirement at this point, and they are willing to care for kids, not because they have to, but because they are family, and they want our family to stay together come hell or high water My parents, my brother, me and my husband have ALL gone through background checks to allow these children to come live with my parents. My mother and father are both educated, gainfully employed and have experience dealing with special needs children (my brother the autistic who is artistic), and who apparently are the only damn people who give a damn about these kids welfare, are unable to get these kids because of a DAMN SIGNATURE.
You wonder why kids in these situations have emotional problems? I don't anymore.